Throw these into every conversation you possibly can. People will look at your wierd, but at least they'll be they'll be thinking
I would like to frolick in a field of poppies.
Is today pizza day? No? Damn...
I would like to roll on the ground possibly in hay. (But I'm allergic, so I may sneeze.)
That wood pile looks awfully brown. Maybe you should take a piss on it to liven things up.
My, my brain feels extra squishy today.
I wish I was a donut.
So does David Hasselhoff...
The king is dead.
Maybe...no...well yeah....well...nevermind...that won't work.
This is not what I expected to find here.
Speak with your diaphragm.
I would like to try skydiving someday. If only I hadn't broken my back when I was three.
I ate that shit a LONG time ago.
Perhaps som sugar in your water would make you happy?
Today is sweat day. Tomorrow is sweat pants day. See the difference?
Do you know what my middle name is?
I'll have seventeen large Diet Cokes.
Oh shit..I forgot my left pinky toe at home.
Something smells like Amanda.
Ready or not, here I come.
It's a leprechaun, a cute little leprechaun.
Ouch, what just bit me?
So, I was on the phone with my ex-boyfriend's college roomate's aunt's friend's son, and you'll never guess what
It's good for the soul.
Your dad shaves his back hair?
My knees shake when I do aerobics. Do yours?
Does dirt...oh yeah it does. I was gonna ask if it sticks to ugly peoples faces. But by the looks of you it apparently
My teddy bears name is Roosevelt
What? You eat squid shit? That's not funny. Oh my God, you are so gross. No...Don't talk to me. Ahhhh....just leave
me alone you sicko. Don't...don't tell me you didn't say that...I heard you say it...oh, now you're lying to me...don't you
dare lie to me...I can't believe you anymore. Look, just leave me alone. STOP IT...STOP TELLING ME YOU DIDN"T SAY IT...I
don't believe you....lalalala...I'm not listening blah, blah, blah, blah...shut up you nasty...what? Don't tell me to shut
up you asshole, you big asshole. I hate you...don't talk to me ever again. My mom said not to do that. Do you know what comes
after P? What? Did you just say poopy?
I eat hamburgers with my toes...no, I'm serious...I really do.
Pink is not my favorite color.