Emperor Lost- The Kingdom of No-Brainers
What Hockey Boy Are You?
Home | Things you thought you'd never need to know.... | This is Not an Orgasm | Make Your Loved One Feel Loved...Really. | Randomly Phrased | Teach that Boy a Lesson! | Do You Know My Middle Name? | Confusing For Some- Understandable for Others | Ugliest of Womanly Faces | Do You Speak Dutch? | I have an Annoying Neighbor...Make Him Move Then! :) | What Hockey Boy Are You? | E-mail Me and You Get a Free Cereal Box Tab | Unruly Poetry- Do You Like Brett? | Answers for Hockey Quiz

1.) What is your favorite animal?
a. Pigeons
b. Tigers
c. Kittens
d. Pigs
e. Hairless Poodle

2.) On Weekends you like to watch...
a. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
b. Jackass
c. Teletubbies
d. Cooking with Julia Child
e. MTV's MADE...I wanna be the fastest man alive.

3) Your Best Friend is your...
a. Boyfriend
b. College Drinking Buddy
c. Your Mom
d. Your Fat Friend Who Eats Your Twinkies
e. My Gilette Razor

4.) Favorite Drink:
a. Evian
b. Anything with Whiskey or Vodka
c. Orange Soda or Pepsi
d. Everything and anything
e. Gatorade

5.) You work at...
a. A Child Care Center
b. The Bar
c. Super One Foods
d. No where...I don't have a job and never will.
That's what mom and dad are for.
e. Health Food GNC

6. Favorite Food:
a. Carrots and Wieners
b. Ribs, steak, chicken...anything to gnaw on.
c. Cupcakes and brownies made by my mom. :)
d. Pizza, donuts, hotdogs, greaseballs...really anything that should be dabbed before eating or labeled "Can Be Made Into Fuel".
e. Energy Bars...especially peanut butter.

7. What you see in a girl...
a. Someone great to shop with. She almost knows as much about fashion as I do.
b. If she's got a hot bod and she's good in the sack. It also helps to know a good Chinese drinking song.
c. A sense of humor, a sweet smile and a caring attitude.
d. Anyone that can cook can be the queen of my double wide.
e. A distraction from my superiority...someone to run with?

8. I like to...
a. Shop. It's, like, one of my favorite things to do.
b. Beat the shit out of my friends.
c. Read.
d. Eat...eat some mo....and, oh yeah, eat.
e. Workout...all the time, baby.

9. Favorite Pasttime:
a. Rainbow Fiesta on Saturday nights.
b. One word: 1-900-HOTBABE
c. Playing with my puppies.
d. Downloading porn.
e. Shaving and working on my legs.

10. Favorite Color:
a. Pink. It goes really well with my blue eyes and especially well with my collection of feather boas.
b. Blue. It reminds me of a bruised eye after a bitch fight.
c. I really don't know. Whatever my girlfriend says it is.
d. Red. I think of cherries in chocolate covered cherries, and cherry pie and cherry jolly rancher and cherry suckers and cherry cake and...well, anything cherry really.
e. Tan...it's the color of my incredibly tan legs.

11. Favorite Sport:
a. Figure Skating-what can beat the Icecapades?
b. Football and Hockey..I like to see people suffer.
c. Parcheesi or Monopoly
d. Mud Wrestling
e. Weight Lifting, Track and Field.

12. Codename for girlfriend:
a. It's boyfriend, okay? And his name is snookums.
b. Bitch
c. Sweetie
d. The only girl in my life is my mom. It's gonna stay that way for a while.
e. Fat Ass...cause anyone that weighs more than a hundred pounds is huge.

13. Favorite Book:
a. Homosexuality for Dummies
b. Da Vinci Code
c. Making of the Teletubbies
d. Cooking with Martha...but only if it has pictures. I can't read.
e. Muscle Mass Can Be Fun

14. Where did you meet your current girlfriend?
a. I met GREG at a party and we, like, hit it off and so well...yeah.
b. I got in a fight with her ex-boyfriend. He's dead now.
c. Church- she's the pastor's daughter
d. At Rosefield Trailer Parks. She had the cutest pair of daisy dukes on and she only had one tooth missing. Only one. She stood next to the pink flamingo.
e. The gym. She was sweaty. I was sweaty and it was great.

15. Favorite Movie:
a. Philadelphia or the the Birdcage. It's a toss up.
b. Fast and the Furious
c. Lion King
d. Anything with food.
e. Richard Simmons- Live the 80's...great movie.

16. Your thoughts on piercings?
a. I have a penis piercing but it's for
Greg's eyes only.
b. They're okay, but only if it's a tongue ring and my girlfriend uses it on me...got it bitch?
c. No...very inhumane.
d. We can't afford to get her a tongue ring. We have to pay for the trailer and my Playstation 2 still.
e. No..they mess up the body completely.
 
17. What is the picture on background on your computer?
a.  Me and Greg, in our matching pink vests.
b. Naked chicks fighting in jello.
c. My mom and my puppy.
d. Can't afford a computer, I spend all my money on food.
e. Me. Who's better than me?

Answers for Hockey Quiz